Indiana Humanities Council President & CEO Keira Amstutz wrote the following article for FitCity’s April Entertaining Ideas column. Keira’s thoughts on how to make meal time a time to share and learn are so good that I was compelled to share her article with our FitCity Moms as well.
How do you make meal times a special time for your family? I welcome your thoughts and ideas.
It’s easy to take meals for granted. We must eat, and we often do so with little regard for food or the time we spend eating it. On the other hand, sometimes the time between settling down for a meal and pushing away from the table is a time for connecting, listening and learning.
Think about it: How many of your most meaningful conversations have taken place over a meal? How many family memories have been shared as dishes passed from hand to hand? How many times have you said, “Let’s grab something to eat,” and had a lot more than food on your agenda? And how often have you left a dinner with a new understanding, appreciation or affection for someone?
Certainly, such moments usually are unexpected. But that doesn’t mean we can’t create an environment around meals that encourages sharing and learning. How? By coming to the table with these thoughts in mind:
- Come prepared to slow down. Quick meals are seldom meaningful. Savor the meal, but also the time and company.
- Come prepared for something new. Introduce yourselves to new dinner-table acquaintances. Try new dishes, new conversation topics or a new routine. Ask a provocative question to start the discussion.
- Come prepared to learn. What people eat and the way they eat it reveals a lot. Pay attention to what others serve and eat. Does a particular recipe have a history? Do the plates, bowls or silverware have significance? What about the spices or sauces? Don’t just consume the meal; consume its story.
- Come prepared to listen. We learn a lot more by listening than we do by talking. We are all more likely to remember something we hear during a meal than something we say.
- Come prepared to ask questions. By asking questions, you not only learn but you also let the people you’re with know that you’re interested in them. Teach the young ones how to ask questions politely.
- Come prepared to contribute. The best conversations are those with multiple voices chiming in. Let the kids know that, as they listen and ask questions, they also should be willing to speak up when it’s their turn. And if the conversation falters, they might even be prepared to recharge it by chatting about a book, a movie or something else that can get others involved.
- Come prepared to get close. Relationships form and grow over food every day. Nowhere is this more important than at home: Statistics show that families that eat together regularly are stronger, and the children in those families are more likely to be lifelong healthy eaters, they do better in school and they’re less likely to indulge in dangerous behaviors. All because the family takes the time to sit down and dine together.
Like our bodies, our minds must be nourished to survive and grow. By teaching our kids to approach mealtimes with the right attitude, we can help them address both of those needs at the same time.
Families can learn a lot through meals. That’s why the Indiana Humanities Council is sponsoring Food for Thought, a statewide program encouraging the people of Indiana to think, read and talk about food through events, festivals, public conversations, a traveling exhibit, community gardens and more. Visit www.foodforthoughtindiana.org for information on upcoming Food for Thought events and activities.
Tags: family dinners, Indiana Humanities Council, Indianapolis nutrition
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This is a fantastic article! In the past few months, we have been making a real effort to use our dining room table and have family dinners more often. I think it would be great to have regular “Come Prepared” dinners where we can really focus on the points given above. There are so many ways to really bring special elements to a meal when you incorporate these elements!
Liz, great comment about using the dining room for actual eating. Our dining room table is our second office and the table is either covered with papers and laptops or seems to just gather dust. We started having Sunday dinners at a minimum and it is really fun to gather to talk in addition to eat. One thing we do – whether we are eating at the table or not – is ask our kids to tell us the best and worst parts about their day. Everyone has a turn and everyone has to listen without interrupting.
P.S. The key is using an open ended question (What was the best part of your day?) instead of a yes or no question (Did you have a good day?).
Great comment about using the dining room for actual eating. Our dining room table is our second office and the table is either covered with papers and laptops or seems to just gather dust. We started having Sunday dinners at a minimum and it is really fun to gather to talk in addition to eat. One thing we do – whether we are eating at the table or not – is ask our kids to tell us the best and worst parts about their day. Everyone has a turn and everyone has to listen without interrupting.
P.S. The key is using an open ended question (What was the best part of your day?) instead of a yes or no question (Did you have a good day?).