My son turned 13 this year, and I am trying to pick up all the tips I can about communicating with teens. One of my favorite comic strips, Zits, often has a strip that illustrates what it feels like talking to teens.
My son’s friends, TV, Facebook, his iPod, video games and his cell phone get a lot of his time and attention, but sometimes I need to talk about something important like eating healthier. In just six months, I have learned a few things about how to get through to him. I’ve learned that:
- I am no longer the only messenger. Teens start listening to their friends and to some selective adults. Since my son is an athlete, he listens to his coaches now more than me about what to eat and such. If I say drink water, let’s just say it can get ugly fast. If Coach Scoville says drink water, it’s the gospel and Chaz drinks water. I appreciate that his peers and his coaches can influence him in positive ways.
- You have to stay on message even when you think they’re not listening. I know he’s listening because he can perfectly mimic some of my repetitive reminders – gestures, voice inflection and all!
- Cutesy, Barney-esque songs don’t work anymore. Now, I wish my son’s favorite rapper, Drake, would change one of his song’s lyrics from “I’m more than just an option” to “Breakfast is not an option,” but I don’t think that’s going to happen.
- Short and simple suggestions like “Hey, why don’t you grab a banana before practice” work better than marathon lectures. After several years of playing football, he’s convinced that bananas are a good snack and the potassium in them is good for his muscles. There are lots of other good reasons to eat bananas and other fruits but I’ll keep those to myself.
- You have to celebrate the small victories. As far as fruits and veggies go, my son eats bananas, grapes, salad, corn and broccoli. That’s pretty darn good.
- Sometimes my son has to learn the hard way. Even though I tell him breakfast is the most important meal of the day and I have plenty to choose from at home, sometimes he skips breakfast. And you know what? He’s the one who has to suffer through the mid-morning cramps and make it to lunch at 12:30 pm. The day after one of those episodes, I don’t have to say a word.
This blog post is about talking to my son about healthy eating, but I have a feeling it will apply to a lot of other topics we’ll be discussing in the next few years. Hopefully, #6 will not be the case too often.
OK, parents of teens (and tweens), share your knowledge. Any tips to add about talking to older kids?
Tags: eating healthy, family health, teens
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Actually, I think #6 is the most powerful way to learn! For example, start skipping those bananas and start being dehydrated and feel those muscle cramps! All choices have consequences- good and bad. I think it’s great when kids learn from real life.
There are a lot of apps and such that help with staying focused on being healthy. Of course, you have to seek them out and utilize them for it to matter.
I think the best option is that healthy peer group and mentors. Being active and playing football- he’ll learn a lot of great stuff there. I also think having parents who model what they preach and teach is extremely valuable. Maybe that should be #7. Modeling- practice what you preach!
I think you should petition the rapper to make some alternative lyrics. That would be hysterical! I’m learning #4 is key as well.